Tired
headache
sweaty
run down
pain, lots of pain
Finally sat down tonight and thought about all my symptoms. I went and looked at my side and sure enough, I have shingles coming back. UGHhhh.
I love the late night hugs I get when I check on the kids before bed time. The kids are warm, smell like sleep, and are oh so cuddly. I am taking advantage of this time because I know I am so close to the kids not wanting me sneaking in at night to get one more hug and kiss.
Often I think about that oh so sweet book about the lady that creeps into her sons room through the years. She rocks him and sings him a song about always being her baby. When time goes on, she gets old and he sneaks into her room to rock her.
I have to be honest. The book kinda creeps me out.
Anyway, I walk into my bathroom to wash my face after checking the kids. I am laughing a bit at Tezeta's dreamy little request to sleep in my bed even though she wasn't awake. This just proves it must be a constant thought for her.
I look up from scrubbing my face and there it is. It stares at me! OH my gosh. I have the biggest white head ever. It looks like a volcano ready to burst. Then it sets in, we have had guests over and NO one said anything. They all sat across the room. They probably thought that my zit was going to blow and they would be covered. How horrifying.
I have had fewer zits now as an adult, but I still get some. I thought that the day I turned twenty, the zits would be done. Magic. Poof.
I cringe as I go to pop it. It really is a gross thing to do. Nasty is the right word.
Now what do I do? Do you send a card to said couple and profusely apologize for the unsightly mess, or do you send them a check for counseling. They might have to talk to someone after this agonizing evening of trying to stay just far enough away, and yet be friendly. Then I understand. This is all Scott's fault. I think in the wedding vows, there must have been something about promising to not let me look like a fool. To always tell me to go freshen up if I am a mess with guests here. Yes, this is something I can make Scott's fault. Ahhh, I feel a little better now.
So I was told that I should write more and do less pictures. Many of you only come on to look at the pictures, so it is hard to say what I should do.
I have been struggling with this, so I thought this was a good time to indulge Chris with my writing, and get your thoughts.
I am a very outgoing and straight forward girl. Some people love me, others hate me. I am offensive to the shy wall flowers. I usually say things as I see them. I don't wait to have my opinion asked.
With friends, I am the type that expects a two way friendship. If I find that I am doing ALL the work, and that someone hasn't called me in weeks, I let it go. I tend to step back and let them call when they decide I fit into their life. Believe me, I know life is busy. I just get tired of one way relationships.
I am the type of friend that will do ANYTHING for my friends. If I need to drive 9 hours to hold your hand through bad times, I will make it work. I guess I expect a lot of my friends.
So, for any of you who understand this, please answer.
** Why do some people sit back and do nothing to make a friendship happen. They might be new to the area, or have been there a long time. They don't have many friends, or have a few close friends, but yet, they don't make any effort. Is a phone call too hard? Is it hard to ask someone else to coffee or a park with the kids? Is this intimidating? The worst that can happen is that someone says they are busy and can't.
I am frustrated at the lack of effort people put into relationships. I look around and think of all the times I have reached out and tried, and people rarely make an effort of their own. They wait for others to call. For others to initiate gatherings. For others to initiate a BBQ or party.
It makes me ever more grateful for the friends that I have that actually put thought and energy into the relationship. They tend the relationship like a garden, and harvest the fruits of labor.
*** side note***
Maybe I should add this in. I have been reading a book and it really pointed out that I jump in and grab more than I should a lot of times. It also talked about why some of us choose to control things in our lives. All of this has come from sitting back and NOT controlling. Not making things work. It is amazing at what changes when you put your feet up, take a deep breath, and decide not to always be the first to call, the first to give. It has been hard, but eye opening. I do think that effort is a TWO way thing. So the feet must come down and transitioned to a nice walk, just not a full run, or pushing the train with everything on it.
Today we had a relaxing day. I served at church from 8:15-9:30 this am. I came home and we cleaned the house all up.
We took off to Ste Chapelle winery for a picnic lunch and a jazz concert. It was wonderful to sit with the kids, Scott, and some wine and yummy food for three hours. We had a great time listening to Brianna Gray. It was a perfect day for us after the kids got half the sleep they normally do. They layed around and snacked. Oh, and rolled in the grass and danced their hearts out.
Tt decided this was her year to dance. Here she is with one of the band members wife. ( TT fell in love with this lady and her man. She flirted all afternoon.)
Scott and I got married 8 yrs and a week ago at that cute gazebo. It is so fun to go out to the winery and relive that day in our minds. I will try to post pics of our wedding sometime soon. :)
